Karolina

I can’t believe my Gedeon adventure is coming to an end. I remember my party like it was yesterday. After finding out that I would be on a feeding contract, I said “okay, I’ll just run away” and I received a note saying that running away would cost me 10,000. I didn’t think that anyone would value me taking a few steps at such an amount. I also remember wanting to stay for a week to let the antidepressants kick in and get back to my busy life. It turned out that the problem was much bigger than I thought and a few pills would not magically make him heal. The last two months have been very intense. Slowly, I began to allow my emotions, understand my patterns, and capture my thoughts. I would like to be able to say that I came to the center in pieces and I leave beautifully put together and ready for the challenges of everyday life, but it’s not true. My stay in Gedeon helped me clean up a bit and build foundations, for which I am extremely grateful. Thank you to the entire therapeutic team for their support, mindfulness and valuable knowledge. I would also like to thank all the nurses and caregivers for the opportunity to cry and talk in the confessional corner called the treatment corner, and for their everyday support, especially wiping tears and motivating me during meals. I would also like to thank all patients for creating a beautiful group in which I felt important. Thank you to the entire community for making me feel safe. For the first time in my life I felt that I didn’t have to pretend and cover everything with a smile, that I could take off the mask and show my fragile side, which would be accepted and cared for. Coming back from my first leave, I made a mistake and said I was going home. Now I think that the center was a home for me, the one that each of us desires – a place where a person feels unconditionally loved, accepted, respected, safe, and every conflict, instead of being swept under the carpet, is resolved through conversation. Thank you for being here and overturning my beliefs that the world is hopeless and people are selfish. Thank you for restoring my faith in other people and showing me life consists of many colors, not only the dark ones. Even though I intended to come to Gedeon for an internship and ended up as a patient, I am grateful for this experience and I hope that thanks to it I will not only be healthy, but also a better psychotherapist.  I still have a lot of work ahead of me, many fights to fight. I feel a great fear of what awaits me outside, but despite this fear I will move forward, keeping in my heart everything I have learned here, everything I have experienced and all the beautiful words I have heard.